The speaker shares their experience with intense anger and rage throughout their life, which was also directed inwardly. They had a constant inner monologue of self-criticism, which was violent and angry. They worked with a therapist to change this self-talk by pretending that their mistakes were made by a close friend, and speaking to that friend in a kind and gentle manner. This practice, which involved recording and sharing the audio with their therapist, helped them to overcome their self-criticism in just four months. The speaker notes that this change has also improved their interactions with others, as they are no longer as harsh and critical towards them.
Vocabulary List (Content Related):
| Vocabulary | Definition | Example Usage |
|---|---|---|
| Insufferable | too annoying or unpleasant to bear | “when you hate yourself that much by definition you are going to be an insufferable prick to everybody else” |
| Ubiquitous | existing or being everywhere at the same time | “your inner monologue is so frequent and ubiquitous and present that it’s easy to almost forget that it’s there” |
| Rationalized | to find reasons to justify or explain something | “of course I rationalized how much boxing saved my life because I had this amazing outlet for my rage” |
| Inward | directed or turned towards one’s own mind or feelings | “a big part of that rage was inward right so it’s it’s not rocket science to understand that a person who has that much hatred for everyone has an enormous amount for themselves” |
| Vulnerabil | capable of being wounded or hurt | “wow yeah talk about vulnerabil I was all on board this practice until you mentioned that at which point” |
| Neuroplasticity | the brain’s ability to change and adapt throughout life | “it it’s um first of all it’s one I’ve never heard of before um but certainly represents this incredible phenomenon of neuroplasticity” |
| Berating | scolding or criticizing someone severely | “47 years of accumulated um just absolutely berating self-talk is what it sounds like” |
| Match-grade | of exceptionally high quality or standard | “I mean I would want to beat myself to a pulp and I would scream at myself I mean it just it’s again it’s hard to describe and I I hope that most people listening to this don’t understand what that feels like if I didn’t perfectly cook a steak if I didn’t perfectly nail something I was doing if if if I didn’t do anything that was perfect at what I described as match-grade perfect” |
| Enormous | extremely large or immense | “a person who has that much hatred for everyone has an enormous amount for themselves” |
| Phenomenon | a remarkable or unusual event or situation | “it it’s um first of all it’s one I’ve never heard of before um but certainly represents this incredible phenomenon of neuroplasticity” |
- The speaker has struggled with anger and rage throughout their life.
- The speaker found an outlet for their rage through boxing.
- The speaker had a negative inner monologue that they were not aware of.
- The speaker worked with a therapist to change their inner dialogue.
- The speaker learned to practice self-compassion and stopped beating themselves up over mistakes.
Vocabulary Quiz
1. What does the word “ubiquitous” mean?
Existing everywhere at the same time
Extremely rare
Relating to water
A type of exercise
A type of food
2. What is the meaning of “insufferable”?
Extremely pleasant
Unable to be tolerated
Relating to sports
A type of music
A type of animal
3. What does “vulnerabil” mean?
The state of being weak
The state of being strong
The state of being open to attack or criticism
A type of exercise
A type of food
4. What is the meaning of “neuroplasticity”?
The ability of the brain to change and adapt
The ability of the brain to remain the same
A type of exercise
A type of music
A type of food
5. What does “berading” mean?
To scold or criticize harshly
To praise or compliment
To ignore or neglect
To help or assist
To teach or instruct
Answer Key:
The correct answer for question 1 is Existing everywhere at the same time.
The correct answer for question 2 is Unable to be tolerated.
The correct answer for question 3 is The state of being open to attack or criticism.
The correct answer for question 4 is The ability of the brain to change and adapt.
The correct answer for question 5 is To scold or criticize harshly.
Subjunctive Mood:
The grammar point in focus here is the use of the subjunctive mood in sentences that express doubt, uncertainty, or possibility about a situation or someone’s feelings. The subjunctive mood is often used in clauses that begin with “if,” “wish,” or “it’s possible that.”
In the provided text, we can see an example of the subjunctive mood in the sentence: “I was like there’s no chance like I’m 47 years old this is the only way I’ve ever interacted with myself how in the world could this be undone…” Here, the speaker expresses doubt about the possibility of changing their self-talk, and the verb “could” is in the subjunctive mood.
Another example can be seen in the sentence: “I think I can say lovingly right…” Here, the speaker is expressing uncertainty about their ability to communicate with themselves in a loving way, and the verb “can” is in the subjunctive mood.
Here are five multiple-choice questions to practice the use of the subjunctive mood:
1. If I ____________________ (have) more time, I would have finished the project earlier.
A) had
B) have
C) has
D) having
2. It’s possible that she ____________________ (be) at the meeting, but I’m not sure.
A) is
B) be
C) been
D) being
3. I wish it ____________________ (rain) tomorrow so we could go to the beach.
A) rains
B) rain
C) rained
D) raining
4. If I ____________________ (not be) so tired, I would have gone to the party.
A) weren’t
B) am not
C) was not
D) be not
5. It’s necessary that he ____________________ (attend) the meeting to discuss the project.
A) attends
B) attend
C) attended
D) attending
Answer Key:
1. A) had
2. B) be
3. B) rain
4. A) weren’t
5. B) attend
